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Monday, July 20, 2015

I Wish For A Concrete Jungle...

Let me start of by stating, I think I'm a pretty spectacular wife.  Especially today.  Being a stay at home, I don't sit idle very long.  I take care of most all the chores in our home with minimal help - hey, it's all part of the "job"!  But today, I deserve a cake.  Or an award.  Or a massage.

See - my husband and I aren't your typical wife/husband, male/female chore people.  Taking out the garbage is equal opportunity.  And so is mowing the lawn...  Well, not any more!

See, my lawn is beautiful and flat.  In. The. Front. Yard.  My back yard?  [sigh]  We call it 'the forest'.  Normally, I mow the front 9, and back, up to the FIRST retaining wall.  Yes, you read that correctly...FIRST RETAINING WALL.  After the second retaining wall, well; that's another story.  And I typically leave that for my other half.  But in this case, I've left it for over a month and could no longer stand it.  Today: I mowed it.

I wanted to share the thoughts that ran through my head (in order) whilst mowing, thinking someone, SOMEONE must find them funny:

  1. Why the hell did I buy this house?
  2. Why am I so in love with this house that I could not sell it?
  3. Why in the hell is it nearly 90 out?
  4. Did I just run over an ant hill?
  5. Holy Shit!  Sweat in your eye freaking hurts!
  6. For the love of Christ...That was an ant hill, and they bite!
  7. I'm sliding back down the hill...LET GO OF THE MOWER!
  8. Did I just step in deer shit?
  9. Nope...I slid in the deer shit.
  10. I'm going to kill someone.  Not sure whom...but someone.
  11. I wonder how much it would cost to just put in an Alpine Sled track?
  12. Maybe just bobsleds?
  13. What about a log flume ride?
  14. I think I'm going to die.
  15. No, I know I'm going to die.
Here is the after product:

From this vantage point behind the garage, you're looking out over the SECOND retaining wall.
From this vantage point, I'm standing in front of the far right tree in the above picture.  The retaining wall on the far left is 6' tall to give you perspective.  It's probably a 40' drop of near 75 degrees.