I Resolve Not to Make Resolutions!

For years, I've marvelled at those who make resolutions.  They start the year with the best of intentions to accomplish some specific task or achieve some specific goal.  By the end of the first three months, most are usually defeated.  I have to shake my head, because at this point, those folks can only feel worse about themselves than they did to start off the whole horrible cycle.

Each year, I resolve NOT to make resolutions.  Instead, I spend the year focusing on all the things I need to to change my life in a positive direction.  I know I'm going to fail...but hey!  If I can just do an eensy ounce better than I did last year, BONUS!

My goal as a wife, mother and individual is to provide for my family a bit better than my mom did for me (hey, it's called progress...and I hope my kids attempt this standard and put my methods in the dust!).  Some days, this is super easy to accomplish and some days there is no way I can even compare to her.  But, with all this in mind, I'd like to share with you the items that I resolve not to make a resolution over, but will struggle with every single day until I've perfected them (which, will be: Never - in case you're keeping score):

1. Yell less & hug more.
2. Tell my husband every day that I love him.
3. Tell my kids every day what is special about them.
4. Communicate better (see #1 for elaboration).
5. Be patient.  [ok, let's be totally honest with this one...I'm never going to be a patient person.  Maybe I should strive to practice deep breathing for 10 seconds and no longer utter the words, "Reverse, Reverse" under my breath]
6. Swear less. [OK: this one, I'm feeling pretty confident about.  I figure that if I can eliminate one curse word from my general conversation & rants every day - this is a super huge improvement.  Next year, I could be so bold as to work toward removing one per hour.  NEXT YEAR - YES!  I know what you're thinking...What the fuhk?  Cut me some slack...and don't judge!]
7. Find some time for me.  Somewhere between worrying about #'s 1, 2 & 3, I typically forget who I am.  And what I'm doing here for me.  It's something important I have to remember so that by the time September rolls around I don't feel lost and alone.

So, with that.  I wish you all good luck in your New Year's Resolutions and will trudge down the road of my non-committal and happily mess up, trip, fall, pick myself up, dust myself off & try again tomorrow.

At Least I...Oh, Wait, I Didn't

After coming off a most hellacious week on-call, where my average nightly sleep for the week totaled three hours, it was bound to happen...For those that know me, and my insomnia, you know how hard it is for me to get four straight hours of sleep, let alone eight...and while my husband was traveling.

I woke up to the soothing sounds of the forest on my alarm clock.  [stretching]  I wonder if I can hit snooze. WAIT!  That cannot be right!  It cannot.  I bolt straight out of bed and rush to my iPhone charging.  OMG, OMG, OMG!  I overslept.  I.  Overslept.  ME!  I don't even sleep, so how can I oversleep?

Not only did I oversleep, I slept through my alarm clock going off for two hours straight.  TWO STRAIGHT HOURS (yes, I know most of your alarm clocks will turn off after one, but hey, this is tranquil nature.  It is meant to be enjoyed!)  It was 6:30, and I was supposed to be working 30 minutes ago!  I grab my tooth brush, and rampantly squeeze the paste.  I brush while putting on my pants.  Spit, rinse...Is that toothpaste all over the vanity?  No time, NO TIME!

I run downstairs and attempt to put on my socks while hopping on one foot around a corner.  My daughter should have been woken up five minutes ago.  JESUS!  How did I sleep through the alarm for TWO WHOLE HOURS?!?!  I round the corner again to find my son, fully dressed sitting on the couch in the dark:

"SURPRISE MOMMY"  Good God, kid...I think his rustling must have been what woke me up.

I boot up my laptop, I dial in.  I attempt 10 minutes of work before our Nanny arrives.  The look on her face says "Whoa!"  I know at this point that I must look like my husband after riding Space Mountain.  I must have coffee!  BREW, for the love of all that is holy, BREW!!!  Coffee in hand, purse, keys I head for the door.

SHIT!  My laptop.  I power it down and pack it up.  The ride to work was frantic.  Did you all know that minivans have a warp speed?  I do now.  I made the 18 mile, traffic congested trek in 15 minutes flat.  Not too shabby.  [This is a voyage that typically takes 20 minutes on a good day when there is no traffic.]

Pretty proud of myself, I roll upstairs to my desk.  I plug in and get ready to attempt to save my morning. I take off my coat.  I fling my hat down.  I look into the mirror.  NICE!  I don't even remember putting my hair up.  Bonus points to me.

Uh, wait.  My fuzzy brain thinks for the first time all morning...I don't put my hair in 1/2 pony tails for work with a pony tail holder.  I reserve those for bed time...  I stop and double over in laughter.  I didn't even comb my hair!  Well, at least I brushed my teeth, or at least I attempted to.  If the copious amounts of toothpaste I left on the counter are any indication...there may not have been any on my toothbrush...