Recently, I was out for a jog. Well, it's more of an ugly walk, but that's a story for another day...jogging, right? I was jogging and thinking to myself. Wait? I had time to think? I had time to jog? I looked over my shoulder to make sure there wasn't some kid trailing behind me screaming, "MOMMY! WAIT UP!" I was alone.
It then dawned on me that I was alone for the first time in years. The kids were at home, happily playing in the driveway I just ventured from. Their father was in the kitchen (which overlooks the driveway) doing the dishes. [Yes, he does the dishes! It was a stipulation of marriage...if you're not married, I'm happy to tell you my secret some other day] I was alone. No one was crying out for my assistance for basic needs. No one was waiting for me to get this, do that, say this, go there.
It was liberating! It was fantastic! It was depressing... I stopped mid-stride and choked back a few tears. Over the past few months, I've been coming to grips that I would never again have another baby. No more sleepless nights blurring into zombified days. No more endless snuggles and falling asleep on the couch together. No more powdery baby smells.
I've watched as my 4YO daughter asserted her sense of self and chose a sassy haircut that was totally "her", and anything but baby-ish. I've stood aside as my 8YO has struggled with friendships and finding her place in the world, stepping in only when she's chosen to involve me. I've sadly smiled at my 6YO's quirkiness and my heart has broken when he realized he's different from the other kids. But this Momma-bird has let her babies fly freely since they were able (but still been attentive and mindful of what's happening).
I've made jokes. I've dreamed of this day. I've planned and plotted and excitedly wished it would come. And it's here. And I take it all back! I TAKE IT BACK, I TELL YOU! I miss fat baby feet that beg for me to bite & kiss. In their place, stink and grody toe jam have taken over. I long for the feeling of sweet baby fuzz to nuzzle, because now I've got grown up hair, hair cuts and shampoos.
Over the course of the last few days, these things have taken their toll and I've found that men may have a corner market on the mid-life crisis, but that as Moms, I think we might take the cake on the growing up blues. Don't get me wrong...I want them to grow up. I can't wait to see what awesomeness these three are going to achieve. I can't wait to experience the rest of their lives with them...I'm just sad it's happening so quickly.
So, if you would be so kind: let me hold your baby for just a moment, stop telling me how big my kids have gotten since you've last seen them and most of all - be patient with me when I randomly stare at you with teary eyes...I'm growing into my new self too.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Stress-Free, And Proud To Be!
I recently told a friend that I try to live stress free, and that I think I'm pretty good at accomplishing this. Intrigued, she asked what my secret is...and then listened transfixed as I told her my dumbfounding secrets to having what I perceive as a pretty unstressful life. You too can be stress-free! All for the mere price of $9.99 plus S+H. Just kidding; there's tax too. No seriously, it's free. And simple. Read on.
One day in 2003, September to be exact...I decided what was truly important to me and my life. I've spent most every ounce of my energy in life seeing that this one thing was nurtured and given my utmost attention. It was my marriage. My husband and I would provide the sound and solid foundation for what I one day hoped was a happy family and a loving home (I was right). As long as I have that, nothing else matters...it's that simple. Really. REALLY! Here's how:
We're simple. I don't need fancy things. Sure, they're nice, but not even remotely needed, so anything past our basic necessities is super! And we treat it as such. My kids and I have clothes. They suit our needs. When we're able to get something special (such as water shoes this summer) the kids get excited! And they should be...those are niceties, not necessities! We're all set - the stress from wanting more is gone. Keep it simple and revel in what you have, not linger over what is unattainable.
We're simple. We have a budget. We live by it as best we can. And if we can't afford to go out, we don't. If my mom or sister-in-law decide to give us a night out, and it's not in the budget...we go for a walk. A nice, kid-free walk. We hold hands and smooch and make each other laugh. And it's good for my soul. And it's a relief to just be us and still enjoy each other. Ask me my favorite thing to do, and I'll tell you with 100% sincerity, "Curl up on the couch with BJ, put my feet in his lap and try not to fall asleep (or blab away) while he watches some crap show I can't stand."
We're simple. I learned a long time ago that nothing good will ever come from comparing myself, my situation or my life to yours. Nothing personal, I don't want your life. I want mine. So, when you win the lottery or are able to splurge on a great vacation...I don't envy you. I am proud you could do something nice for yourself! How awesome for you! I can't wait to see your pictures and hear your smiling tales of your exploits.
We're simple. We don't have many friends...but those that we have, we're certainly lucky to have! They enhance our life. They don't bring drama to it. And they can be counted on when push comes to shove - by offering good advice, a sane and logical sounding board or two solid arms to move furniture (or to hug with).
Don't get me wrong. I'm passionate and can quickly get worked up about things...but I'm just as quick to let them go. Life's too short. It's way too short! If we can sneak out for dinner, we do. If we can't? I'm good with dancing in my kitchen after cleaning up from our standard family dinner at the dining room table with no TV on. If we can save for a vacation, we'll go. If not, we'll spend our staycation exhausting ourselves doing things our whole family enjoy.
So, as a recap - for those that know me, and know I mean it...the keys to a stress-free life are that simple: Know what you need, and see that it is tended to. Know your limits, and stick to them. Know who you are and don't waste time trying to be someone else. Know who to trust, and give them everything you've got...it'll come back 10 fold. And let it go. Shake it off. Keep it simple. Good luck!
One day in 2003, September to be exact...I decided what was truly important to me and my life. I've spent most every ounce of my energy in life seeing that this one thing was nurtured and given my utmost attention. It was my marriage. My husband and I would provide the sound and solid foundation for what I one day hoped was a happy family and a loving home (I was right). As long as I have that, nothing else matters...it's that simple. Really. REALLY! Here's how:
We're simple. I don't need fancy things. Sure, they're nice, but not even remotely needed, so anything past our basic necessities is super! And we treat it as such. My kids and I have clothes. They suit our needs. When we're able to get something special (such as water shoes this summer) the kids get excited! And they should be...those are niceties, not necessities! We're all set - the stress from wanting more is gone. Keep it simple and revel in what you have, not linger over what is unattainable.
We're simple. We have a budget. We live by it as best we can. And if we can't afford to go out, we don't. If my mom or sister-in-law decide to give us a night out, and it's not in the budget...we go for a walk. A nice, kid-free walk. We hold hands and smooch and make each other laugh. And it's good for my soul. And it's a relief to just be us and still enjoy each other. Ask me my favorite thing to do, and I'll tell you with 100% sincerity, "Curl up on the couch with BJ, put my feet in his lap and try not to fall asleep (or blab away) while he watches some crap show I can't stand."
We're simple. I learned a long time ago that nothing good will ever come from comparing myself, my situation or my life to yours. Nothing personal, I don't want your life. I want mine. So, when you win the lottery or are able to splurge on a great vacation...I don't envy you. I am proud you could do something nice for yourself! How awesome for you! I can't wait to see your pictures and hear your smiling tales of your exploits.
We're simple. We don't have many friends...but those that we have, we're certainly lucky to have! They enhance our life. They don't bring drama to it. And they can be counted on when push comes to shove - by offering good advice, a sane and logical sounding board or two solid arms to move furniture (or to hug with).
Don't get me wrong. I'm passionate and can quickly get worked up about things...but I'm just as quick to let them go. Life's too short. It's way too short! If we can sneak out for dinner, we do. If we can't? I'm good with dancing in my kitchen after cleaning up from our standard family dinner at the dining room table with no TV on. If we can save for a vacation, we'll go. If not, we'll spend our staycation exhausting ourselves doing things our whole family enjoy.
So, as a recap - for those that know me, and know I mean it...the keys to a stress-free life are that simple: Know what you need, and see that it is tended to. Know your limits, and stick to them. Know who you are and don't waste time trying to be someone else. Know who to trust, and give them everything you've got...it'll come back 10 fold. And let it go. Shake it off. Keep it simple. Good luck!
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