What Did You Say?

2013 was the year of the lunatic.  This year saw all my kids in school.  All my kids being driven to and fro between piano lessons and swim lessons and various other engagements.  It provided our first family vacation in four years.  There was family drama.  We celebrated our tenth year of marriage, and our 15th year with each other.  Our kids' quirkiness came out in leaps and bounds.  It all left me exhausted. And happy.  And frustrated.  And thoughtful.

This year I noticed and listened to my children yell at each other.  I heard them yell room to room.  I witnessed them yelling at me and their father.  I heard their father yelling back.  I stepped outside myself and saw the freak-show I could become.  And I thought to myself, 'This is not what I want to be teaching them.'  This year is going to be different...GODDAMNIT!  [ugh: I even yell on here!]

I've enlisted the help of my family.  I'm going to pretend I'm soft spoken.  I'm going to breathe deeply and I'm going to walk into the other room, or walk from the room - depending on the situation.

No more, "HEY!  TURN THAT DOWN!"

Never again with the, "WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING?!?!"

Screamed, "WTF..." at kids, the husband, the cats, extended family, other people's stupidity, shall not come to pass.  Ok, maybe not on the other people's stupidity...I am only human after all!

Daunting, I know.  But hey, I've figured out and mastered most other things in life I've put my mind to...I refuse to allow this one to be any different.  I'll probably fail a million times, but as long as I try again, there will always be one less shouting match had.

I've come up with replacement strategies:  Leaving my kitchen (maybe a few burned dinners will drive this point home) to get the TV, radio or child volume lowered with a tap on the shoulder and a quietly spoken, "Please turn that down?"  When any number of daily atrocities committed by the small humans in my house is discovered; kneeling down to their height and calmly asking, "What happened.  Can I have the full story, including your thoughts on why you did that/it happened?"  And when all else fails, I'm going to take a deep breath and walk away.

2014, it is my goal to be asked, "What? What did you just say, Mommy?"  When this happens more often than not, I'll consider myself successful...and I'll then have my goal of 2015 - ensuring that no one had lasting hearing damage...