It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

That's right folks, it's the most 'wonderful' [said in scathing sarcasm] time of the year!  And as you've guessed, I'm referring to Pine Needle Season.  You heard me: Pine.  Needle.  Season.  The bane of my beloved home's existence.

Every year, as leaves start to fall, something much more nefarious ingratiates itself into my home & hearth.  My neighbor's pine needles.  I wish I could even say that they were mine, but alas, they are not.  Lurking just on the other side of my property, securely on my neighbor's land are three massive pine trees.  When I say massive, I mean MASSIVE.  These bad boys have to be close to four stories tall.  Four stories.  All having grown in the five feet between my driveway and the neighbor's house.

And every year, the needles drop.  And when they do, it's like some terrible viscous ooze from a horror movie.  Pine needles are everywhere!  There's no escaping them!  AAAARGH!  THE HORROR!!!

Carried into the house on the bottom of your shoes!  Simple, really...take off your shoes on the back porch.  But noooooo - these damned things sneak into the house itself on your socks, or via the dog.  UGH!

And it's not limited to the house!  They're in my Jeep.  My beloved Betty White no longer has carpeting. I now have a needle floor - the upside is that it is totally organic AND vegan!  Whew!

Windy?  Running to the car waiting for you in the drive?  Pine needles in your hair!  The perfect accessory for the evening out!

I had literally thought I was done finding new places these suckers hide out, until tonight.  See, I've found them on the window sills, in the cat's collar, burning out my vacuum, in the tub, the toy box, with the mail.  Everywhere.

Yet still, somehow, I was not prepared.  Thank God I was sitting!

In my underwear.  How in the holeeee hell do pine needles wind up in your skivvies?!?  It's windy out there tonight, but really?  I wish I could make this stuff up, but I can't.

Which brings me to what else I can't do - get rid of the freaking pine needles.  You can't burn them.  Sure, you can bag them & throw them away, but we learned in year one that a garbage bag filled with pine needles weighs more than a grown man.  So - suggestions, because as of now a line has been crossed.  It's all fun & games until someone gets a pine needle in their drawers...