The Aisle of Box

I do the grocery shopping for my family of five. Every other week, on payday, I scoot out either late Friday night or early on Saturday morning to beat the droves of casual shoppers that can be found during normal business hours. It's become an art that I believe that I have perfected. I can acquire about $250 worth of groceries (for two weeks - minus repeat visits for milk and fresh fruit & veggies) in about an hour flat. Bing. Bang. Boom.

This most recent visit took longer though. You see...I got lost in the "Aisle of Box." [Now, I pride myself on the fact that my family gets home cooked meals. And by home cooked, I mean; I open a cookbook, ensure I have all ingredients and then make the meal from scratch. I use real butter. I use real cheeses AND...I even use milk that has fat in it. Cookies, cakes and frostings are also homemade up in this joint.]

So, back to the Aisle of Box...

I had found some recipe that called for - minute rice or some junk that I didn't have because, shockingly, I use the real stuff. And I had to venture into uncharted territory. Do you realize how much sh!t is in the Aisle of Box? There's hamburger, tuna and chicken helpers...I would even venture to say that there is helper for your helper. There are oodles and oodles of outrageously salty noodles. Sauces, creams, powders and various other sundry things made of every potential chemical known to man.

I stood, mouth agape. I might even have drooled, so deep was my stupor. I'm not sure how long I stood there, wondering: How long could a person eat from this aisle without ever eating the same thing twice? I looked at a picture on the front of a box..."Hey, I make that stuff." I look at the ingredients. Baffled, I put it back b/c I don't have a PhD in AstroPhysics and cannot even begin to pronounce half of the items contained therein. I look at the calorie content. JESUS H! That is insane and out of control...and I use real butter!

Suddenly, my wits returned about me, and I ran. Well, I went as fast as I could pushing an entire cart filled with about $250 worth of groceries...I left so quickly, I even forgot my minute rice. Part of me wonders if this is a contributing part of the "Obesity epidemic" that is plaguing our nation...or, if maybe it is Nabisco's experiment on life extension - If we can get them to eat this garbage, it will petrified & pickle their insides...thus allowing them to live forever!

In either case, I think that due to the sheer size & volume of that aisle, I'm in a minority here. I eat sitting down, at the same time every day, with my entire family, and while we don't say grace - we don't start eating until everyone is sitting. We all stay at the table until everyone is finished too. We have a main course with a side and a helping of vegetables with milk to drink. We all have napkins set at our places, even the baby uses one. We all share things about our days. And I feel terrified at the idea of the Aisle of Box, and the thought that it could destroy my nightly piece of heaven.

Don't let the Aisle of Box happen to you. Take time to eat the fat laden cheeses and brown in real butter. And please, please...for the love of God, don't eat cake that comes from a box.