An Android Army

Modern technology amazes me. Truly it does. I find it mind-blowing that for a diddly $200 you can buy a phone that not only tells you the date and time but delivers you your email, and provides "apps" for every whim a person could possibly dream of - from telling you who sings that song you can't remember to telling you where you are - to, I'm sure: wiping your own ass for you. This is so stupefying, considering a measly 30 years ago, your phone merely hung on the wall and dialed out to a solitary person.

The most flabbergasting quality in technological advancement, in my book, has become what I loving refer to as "Droids". Droids can be spotted everywhere. Droid detection has become a sad little game I play with friends.

My most recent sighting was while out to dinner with my husband [which is no easy feat, considering we have three small children]. Here we are, sitting at our table, holding hands and chatting light-heartedly about life and our days. We were taking time to bask in human interaction when low and behold...a few tables to my left were DROIDS.

By DROIDS in this instance, I mean: two extremely cute young "ladies" dressed as if they just rolled out of bed, complete in their pajamas; who rather than talking, these DROIDS were doing just what I've come to expect of them...they were (and let me say - FOR THE DURATION OF THEIR ENTIRE TIME AT THE RESTAURANT) completely immersed in their phones. Now, for clarity - the type of phone doesn't much matter, although if the DROIDS use a Droid, I find that worthy of a tee-hee instead of a haha. I think they were even texting each other! Sad.

So, for those of you like me...who wonders just *what* technology has done to us, I offer what I believe to be the same DROID conversation. Let's take my example from above and build upon it, shall we?

DROID 1: C that chick there?
DROID 2: Which 1?
DROID 1: THE 1 STARING!
DROID 2: Shut up!
DROID 1: U shut up, IDGI! OMG!
DROID 2: OMG! Stalker?
DROID 1: IDK. Leave now?
DROID 2: IDGAS...Our waiter's H-O-T!
DROID 1: YEAH!
DROID 2: YEAH!
giggling erupts from the table in question
DROID 1: TG, she stopped looking.
DROID 2: Yeah...creepy!

Clearly, I underestimated this high-tech machinery. Makes perfect sense for every stealth conversation I've ever had in my life...and the magnitude of this covert communications was evidently worth and justifiably important enough to have via phone while the recipient of said texts was close enough to whisper to.

OMG, my BFF Jill...nuff said.