As summer began, I called to order a family meeting. We gathered round the table and brainstormed activities to conquer and own as a family. These items ranged from playing in the sprinkler and getting ice cream to much loftier accomplishments such as hiking and camping.
Most recently, we checked off going to a beautiful state park in our area: Letchworth. While there our plan was to stop at various vistas, take pictures have a picnic lunch, walk to the falls (upper and lower) check out the koi pond and maybe sneak in some swimming at the pool. This was my trial insight into the greater realm of camping.
Please keep in mind my idea of camping is to "rough" it at a hojo. I mean, come on, those things are a far cry from a Hilton and can be closely associated with most wildernesses that I'm familiar with. In any case, let me tell you why Letchworth was an epic fail and I stare sadly at the 'not to be attempted this year's #7' on our list...
Lunch started out at a great overlook. There were plenty of tables to choose from and very few people. Excellent! I send my husband back for our picnic basket and cooler. In the meanwhile I told the kids to settle on a table. That one...no. That one...no... That one? "OMG! PICK A TABLE ALREADY!" The settled on a high top granite table that sat 8-12. They like their space.
Then the bugs arrived. At first they swatted. Then they got up. The bugs followed. They ran. They yelled. We moved tables. A low top that seated about 16. Ok, you can spread out...nice. A blood curdling scream filled the air. While my youngest stuck her leg into a spider web, I had a heart attack. Never mind there was no spider in it (nor had there been for some time), we once again moved tables.
We pick our third and final table. A lovely table closer to people where the kids could spread out and a swarm of some sort of bug thing felt the need to circumnavigate my head. No biggie. I would not freak out. These kids need to see a calming reassurance in the presence of bugs to know it is O. K. Right.
These bugs landed. I swatted. The buzzed. I moved. I'm fairly certain that day my protein ingestion levels had to be off the charts as I think I swallowed half of them. Mmmm, crunchy. Then suddenly to my relief they were gone. MORE SCREAMING! I almost choked on the cherries I was eating. "Jesus! What is it?!?!" My oldest is off & running. Swinging her arms as if she's in a fit of epilepsy (hmmm, wonder where the pool is?). Shouts of, "BUGS!" filter back to me.
Sighing I pick up. I tell them that we will not be camping this year. My husband rolls his eyes. And my son who has been sitting precariously on a bench, too terrified to eat because if he looks at his food for just a moment a prehistoric bug might climb over the bluff and swallow him whole; begins to sob uncontrollably. Really? It was like watching a fire break out at a circus. Children were crying, run amok and you'd think being chased by killer clowns...
You kids hate the outdoors. You are terrified of any bugs. And yet you want to go camping? Sure. Let's plan our weekend to Stony Brook....
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