Most recently, our home has seen an influx in its fascination with the telephone. The younger kids are becoming chatterboxes and want to talk to everyone, and my oldest, my pride and joy; Thing 1 - is starting to call her girlfriends. If this is a preview of what my next 10 years are going to be like counseling on social issues...we are in for some big trouble.
This child banters away with her father while he is out of town. Calls both her grandmothers. Conversation full of what is important to the typical eight-year-old: we did this at school, I read this book, we're eating this for dinner. No problems, right? Wrong!
[phone rings]
Me: Thing 1 answer that, please?
Thing 1: [picks up phone, puts to ear] blink, blink.
And she just stands there. Mouth agape. Saying nothing. Nada. Zip, zero, zilch.
Me: Baby, you have to say Hello.
Ultimately, I take the phone from her, and if the person on the other end is brave, they have endured this silence patiently.
Onward, right? It has to get better from here...
Thing 1: Mommy, I want to call Lucy.
Me: Ok, do you know what you're going to say?
Thing 1: No.
[we do some role play, so she can better understand, we even discuss the terrifying voicemail beep]
Thing 1 dials. The phone rings. I can hear someone answer.
Me: [whispering] Baby....ask 'Is Lucy there? May I speak with her?'
Thing 1: [panic stricken] LUCY!
I hear talking on the other end, but cannot make it out...
Thing 1: LUCY!!!
Me: OMG, honey...tell them who you are, ask to S-P-E-A-K to Lucy.
Thing 1: IT'S THING 1, LUCY?
Her eyes get huge. I think she might be about to throw up. Suddenly, she hangs up the phone and pretty much throws it back at me. This whole exchange passed within the span of maybe 2 minutes, tops...I must act quickly! Before she bolts from the room, I seize her elbow.
Me: Honey, was Lucy home?
Thing 1: I don't know, I just couldn't wait any more, so I hung up.
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