Yesterday I had to take my youngest in for her yearly check up. She was filled with trepidation. She wanted to know what her doctor looked like and if her doctor was a he or a she. And if her doctor was nice. And if her doctor... all things I took for granted that she knew. Little did I think that she wouldn't remember because she hasn't been since her yearly appt. last year! I'm very lucky in that I have healthy kids.
I was informed that she'd need some shots. Oh boy. I needed to distract her from this thought. So, here, my five-year-old was, sitting in her undies up on the table. I decided a nice little conversation would be just what the doctor ordered.
It starts out pleasantly enough, when I think, "Whoa, she's loud"...I have no idea where she gets that from. The below is the exchange that then took place.
Me: So, can you sit still for just a minute?
Thing 3: MOMMY! THE DOCTOR IS TAKING FOREVERRRRRR....
Me: Whoa, hush it down would you?
Thing 3: MOMMY...IS IT WEIRD THAT THE DOCTOR WANTS TO LOOK AT MY UNDIES?
Me: [sigh] She's not coming to look at your undies; she asked that you be in your undies to... (at this point I see she's no longer paying attention and starting to roll around on the table).
Thing 3: HEY!
Me [starting to whisper]: Yikes, can you keep it down? You're going to scare the babies here.
Thing 3: WHAT?
Me [whispering]: Please, tone it down.
Thing 3: BABIES?
Me [whispering]: Yeah, and old people.
Thing 3: WHAT?
Me [whispering]: The old people.
Thing 3: WHAAAAT?
Me [whispering]: Oh MY Gawd...the old people. Quiet down!
Thing 3: WHAAAAT?
Me: Kid, you are pure comedic genius [I begin laughing] The. Old. People. You'll scare them. And the babies.
Thing 3: MOMMY, OLD PEOPLE ARE HILARIOUS, [she begins shaking her head] SO, THEY CAN'T SCARE BABIES! YOU'RE OLD, AND YOU DO NOT SCARE BABIES...
At this point, the doctor walks in and is trying to stifle her laughter. I'm guessing most everyone heard at least one side of this exchange. Suddenly, I feel old. And, like scaring a baby...
a long time ago you said I passed on my freak eye to her, perhaps I passed on my volume controls as well :)
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