Who doesn't love reading a newspaper?

Newspapers, I fear, are becoming a thing of the past. I remember, fondly, my father coming home from work to sit in his chair and read the paper every night (I also remember knocking on his paper until it completely crumpled, just to ask him, "Whatcha doin'?"). I remember when every family got the Sunday paper delivered. It is with extremely morose remembrance that I can safely vouch for the WHY of why newspapers are becoming extinct.

Newspapers once were associated with educated affluence. Everyone who was anyone read the paper. It was the way learned people stayed informed. Not so any longer. Newspapers have now become affiliated with imbeciles who drive Honda Civics. Honda Civics?!? Yes...Honda Civics. At least, that is what the boob in front of me was driving.

As.
He.
Read.
The.
Newspaper.

Mind you, he didn't have it opened and strategically folded so as to glance at a particularly amusing article or anecdote while stopped at a red light...Noooooo! He had it open, (I'm guessing to the Want Ads), in a sort of double truck fashion; spread completely across his steering wheel. Oh, and while driving down a highway at the speed of 70+ miles per hour.

I'll admit, at first I had him pegged for a driving texter the way he veered in and out of my lane. The imagination was stretched so far as to conjure elaborate stories about how he was a pepper mill hauler and was having difficulty keeping his sneezes under control. Possibly the rampant careening was due to having a precocious child in the back seat (those little things always make me laugh uncontrollably).

No, simply, he was reading the paper - while driving. The epitome of defensive driving! I cannot begin to conceptualize what could posses a person to read a paper while driving. It is now needless to say that anyone who passed this accomplished coachman witnessed the downfall of newspapers that gloriously sunny afternoon. Even Rupert Murdoch is reaching out from his obituary and rolling in his grave. Wait, he's still alive you say? Hmmmm: I wonder if he drives a Civic.