The Wonderment of....Walgreens!

Ok, I'll admit it: I think Walgreens now has everything. Or, maybe it is that I have now seen everything...at Walgreens. How did I come to this conclusion you ask? 3 very simple words.

Fuschia
Padded
Bras

Oh, you heard me. Fuschia padded bras! Here, please...let me set the scenario. Last night while out with a friend for coffee, we opted to make a quick stop so that she could pick up a prescription. [Side bar: I could have waited in the car. Instead, I opted to accompany her. I'm a lookie-loo. I confess. If I hadn't of gone, how could I be expected to keep up on the current going rate for 24" chocolate bunnies, atrocious Easter baskets, the what is now surely 15 different kinds of filled chocolate eggs and other sundry that is housed in the middle aisle at a Walgreens?] Continuing...I meandered about the store. I lallygagged after my friend as she made her way to the back. I touched a few items here and there for nostalgic reasons I cannot begin to explain (think: Vicks Vapo-Rub).

And it is similarly here, somewhere between the vaporizers and the panty hose that I found it. A Fuschia padded bra. Complete with gold adornments. This bra shouted, "Classy". This bra called forth from the aisle on high, bellowing, "Femininity and Liberation!". This bra had Pizazz. I stood transfixed, and breath-taken. I quickly ransacked the shelf looking for my size, which; incidentally - is no small task. But hey; who wouldn't love a prettily padded pink unmentionable from Walgreens?!?

To my shock and horror...I discovered these lovely little gems were purely made for trolls. This could be the only explanation. There was one size and one size alone: Insanely, Intimately Insuffecient. Possibly gnomes. Maybe they could adorn themselves in these garments. Surely no human being could!

Maybe that is their brilliant marketing plan though: Walgreens, "Home of the Shockingly Small Skivvies! Appropriately proportioned for gnomes & trolls." Top that Cosmo! Walgreens has now bested you in the ungettable-get. Women from everywhere will stop eating for days, nay - weeks in their Herculean effort to fit into one of these pastel pasties. Thank you, Walgreens for making all of my unrealized wishes come true. I will never again drive miles and miles to assemble the perfect ensemble for that scintillating first date. Humbly, I'll only need to swing by my Walgreens on the way home from work, mosey on down the lane and purchase my perfectly padded pièce de résistance. Kudos.