Brusha, brusha, brusha...

Living with someone is difficult.  You bring your own brand of neurosis that you've had to deal with your entire life, and they bring theirs to the abode.  My husband and I discovered early on how to live with each other peacefully, but it wasn't easy.  In the beginning, it was the little things.  The inconsequential things we learned are what truly destroy relationships.  Not money, not differing political opinions, no - much more serious things...like toothpaste.

See, when we moved in together we each brought our own idea of utopia to our homestead.  Having grown up vastly different, we discovered quickly which set the other off (yes, he gets angry too!).  

The largest of all these issues was the toothpaste.  We used the same kind.  We shared a tube.  Let me explain what happens when a psychotic neat freak moves in with a closet slob: we fought.  A lot.  Over toothpaste.  He gooed it on his brush, smooshed the cap back on and rolled the damned tube up.  I would clean it off, clean out the cap, unroll it, push the toothpaste up and go on my way.  That is until I couldn't take it any more.

We had a knock down drag out, over toothpaste.  You wonder how two intelligent, higher educated individuals could fight over toothpaste, I'll tell you.  Ever have someone constantly following you undoing everything you had just done?  That is what we both felt like.  It was a HUGE issue.  We learned quickly that these seemingly tiny issues are what hold the key to a relationship's unraveling.  We resorted to name calling:

"Globber!"

"Anal control freak!"

"You're gross!  Pig..."

"You're bossy!"

There was pent up anger...yes, over toothpaste.  You think, "Hell, it's just toothpaste!" and you push it down.  Finally it reared it's ugly head and a battle over toothpaste turned into a battle over every other little thing that drove us mad about the other.  Toothpaste.  And because it was such a small issue, it never dawned on either of us to buy separate tubes.  Why in the hell would we do that?  We use the same kind!  Who has two tubes of the same kind of toothpaste laying around being used?

After the last fight in our apartment over this then $2 item, I had had enough!  I stomped out and went straight to the store with the "I'll show him!" mentality.  I bought my own tube!  OMG!  I said it!  I bought my own tube of toothpaste!  It was liberating!  It was refreshing!  And most of all from my point of view, my tube was pristine looking.

And the fighting ceased.  Completely.  Toothpaste.  Really?  Yes...  We've since learned that we have to stop sweating the small stuff.  It's the small stuff that grows & festers and turns into something much larger...like bread.  When you first knead it, it's a small ball...let it sit around a few hours at room temperature and you have something much, much bigger.  Since then, we've called the little things that bother us in this wonderful life together "toothpaste".  We've learned to air them and take immediate action, lest they rise and become ready to be baked into something solid.

And we've learned everyone has toothpaste in their life.  What's your toothpaste?