Revoked Commissary

A changing wind blows, and my sweet son is suddenly filled with naughtiness.  My Aunt, who has been doing hair for over 25 years says that hairstyles can change your attitude.  If this is the case, I'll never shave his head, at his request, again.  The moment he became bald, his badness level rose to astronomical heights.

A coworker of mine had the brilliant realization that my son is a disgruntled inmate.  Let me explain:

Recently, his head was shaved bald.  At his request.  The closest I could get to bald without breaking out the Bic...and he loved it.  A sparkle appeared in his eye.  Uh-oh...

This convict's first line of business was to go on a hunger strike.  Not unheard of for the child who is commonly referred to as "Ghandi" in my house.  He's prone to getting in a tiff about something and refusing to eat...for at least two days.  This kid is six!  The civil disobedience starts young with this one...

The next criminal activity that took place was him slamming his bedroom dresser drawer to the floor with enough force to break it!  This isn't cheap furniture.  It's solid wood!  It's beautiful.  It's broken.  I flip out.

The rampage continues.  Our toilet gets clogged.  No, he's not a "growing boy" where these things happen...He purposely clogged it.  And it isn't the first time.  This toilet is purported to be able to flush two dozen golf balls...and this child stuffed it with enough TP to have done someone's front yard a great injustice. The worst part was he was thrilled to see plungers in the bathroom.  Delighted even.

Most recently, he socked his sister in the face.  My Sweet Son!  Now, I'm not saying she didn't deserve every ounce of puny child muscle walloping her in the kisser...what I am saying is that he should not have done it (or at least, not so loud enough that it was heard in another room).  While part of me beams with pride that he can give a solid thumping, I have to cringe at the poor decision.

While reliving this drama to my coworker, who is former law enforcement, he shakes his head and begins to chuckle, "Cathy, what you've got on your hands is a disgruntled inmate.  First, they're shaved & tattoo'd.  Then they clog their toilets and start prison riots.  I'd watch out if I were you.  Flinging shit always comes next..."  On that, he turned back around to continue working while I contemplated his astute observation in dumbfounded silence.

You'll know what happens next, if and when my son winds up "in the hole."  There for certain will be a dead man walking...