I have an addictive personality. There, I've said it. To my husband, whose conversations I've ignored, to my kids whose drawings I've barely glanced at, and to anyone whose phone call I've not returned - you can blame my friend Scott. And this horrible game called Draw Something (think: Pictionary but via cell phones).
Once upon a time, in a time before I was a doting wife and an attentive mother, I was quite an amazing artist. I was this close to going to school to hone my skills. When reality set in, I decided that I'd rather have art as an enjoyable hobby than a job controlled by "the man". In the past 14 years, my husband has rarely seen me break out my supplies and nourish this talent of mine. When he has, he said he was dumbfounded.
And then...in an attempt to be playful, I invited said friend to a game of Words with friends. I'm not sure if he didn't like me handing him his ass, or if he was just not committed, or if the thought of me singing the Jeopardy tune while he took his sweet-assed time playing a word prompted this, but he resigned and then invited me to a game of Draw Something. Ahhh, the fateful invite.
Here, I figure I can excel once more, and unleash my skills of an artist! Want to know what I've come to find? I can draw anything in 30 seconds or less and do it in a manner that would lead you to believe a four-year-old illustrated it. I can do it in a mere three colors, and that you can, indeed, pull a muscle from laughing.
Most recently, my biggest artistic triumph was my move to my Sister-in-law. Bless her heart, she was the (I'm sure) proud recipient of one terribly out of proportion ball sack and penis...peeing all over. You see, I had to draw the word: Pee.
Quickly, I thought: draw a toilet. Draw someone on the toilet. Make the water in the toilet yella. No, no. Too time consuming. Draw a toilet. Make the pee yella. Use an arrow to point to the pee. Still too long!
And then it hit me. First I draw my stick man with what looks like a third arm, complete with a bicep with my stream. Excellent! Took me all of five seconds. Wait. She might be confused. It does look rather, un-human. Junk it. Start again. Then there was this brilliant moment of loopty-loos and a few awkwardly placed ovals with a giant fat yella line coming out. Oh yeah, baby. No one could foul this up.
Although, I'm slightly frightened. See, in my former life - I was a realist. A perfectionist. I was known for trashing canvas and burning paintings not good enough. And strangely, horribly now, I'm reduced to drawing with my finger. On a phone; as if I am Picasso's illegitimate something. Pathetic. And yet - wildly hilarious.
If you haven't had the chance yet...invite me to play. It's worth it. And if you've been the recipient of my hellacious drawings...I'm sorry. Or not.
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